.and the girl said...

So, like I haven't been active here in a few months. Why? Well, my laptop is broken. Went to therapy (should be getting ready to go now) for depression & stuff. Not much to say but, I have taken a semester off from school. Yaaay... going back next month (booo). Taking the few classes I failed. Good news is, there MIGHT be a chance for me to go back to Del State for Fall. Yaaaaaay!! =D . . . did I talk about this already? I don't remember. So, anyways there's tons of new art from me on dA... maybe not tons, but there is new art up. =) Um... should be getting ready now for group, though. I promise there will be another entry up tonight!

- simba

. susie got 'cho numbaaa

"Susie ain't cho friend..."

Nothing much going on... just made a couple more graphics and animations... And yes, there's a lot of crotch grabbing/rotating down there... =)

- Simba

MJ - 1958 to Forever

Hmm... Yeah, I'm two weeks late and it's been a long while, but I've been keeping to myself lately. I've been thinking what I should do with my life... I've been applying for jobs and I have a couple of interviews coming up (wish me luck). I've been doing a lot of artwork lately for my upcoming fanfiction and trying to complete my outlines... but that all came to a stop two weeks ago today. When MJ passed, I felt a piece of me went missing. I was lost... For the past two weeks, I've been listening to his music and watching videos on YouTube (just like the rest of the world), falling in love once again. When I was a little girl, I was obsessed. I would have stalked him and forced him into marriage if only I was born earlier. He's the main reason why I'm a music lover today. He was purely magic to me. He had a pure heart... too pure for the world to understand. I wish I had met him... but, in my heart somewhere, I feel he's still here. That makes me smile...

That's my most fave song by the way... & I'm still making graphics in tribute because I'm not satisfied... I won't stop until it's my best work. And here's a few animations I've done:

.and then...

"You're a little evil, I see."

So, today's another day to do and show off some more pixel work. More characters from what I working on:


Lady Eris / Blackstar Mistress
From the planet of the Milky Way Galaxy, Eris
Her hair & outfit! <3


Sailor Cherryblossom / Senshi of Spring
Origin Unknown
Plant attacks. Strong physically. Competitive.
Yay! I think that's strawberry blonde... it's close enough right? lol. In my original sketch of her, she had a ridiculously large bow in the front. I discarded that because I thought, "How can she fight like that?"


Sailor Shellginger / Senshi of Summer
Origin Unknown
Bomb attacks. Quick on her feet.
Her hair was originally supposed to be an afro, but I failed. I went with a short, slick-back... I'll master the afro one day!! lol. I love the colors.

More is coming soon... just got to go cook something for the family. lol.

- rawr

.gosh!

Eh... nothing witty here.

Don't mind me... I'm just putting up some more dolls.

Mmm... this took HOURS! My brain is just mush right now. lol. They are characters for something I'm writing. Here they are in a little detail!

Aino Manami (Affectionate Beauty of Love)
May 15th, Taurus
Bubbly, Outgoing, Difficult to Anger / Rude, Bored Easily, Conceited.
She's great at sports, but her idol father doesn't understand it while her mother supports her all the way. Since she grew up in the spotlight, with both parents being idols, she is viewed as a brat. She must prove to everyone that she isn't.
If you recognize the name Aino, I love you. lol, but I think her hair was the most difficult... Her clothes were easy. She's like my second favorite-favorite. =)

Mizuno Maki (True Hope of Water) / Kiki-chan
June 20th, Gemini
Calm, Intelligent, Creative / Shy, Nervous, Inquisitive.
She has terrible hand-writing because she types more than she writes. She hates being alone, but she's also very kept to herself because she's shy and she always have her head in the books. She wants to break out of her shell.
Her PANTS gave me a hard time. >=| I looove how her shirt came out. =) Oh yeah, if you recognize the Mizuno, you're my bestest friend.

Tsukino Hikari (The Radiance of the Moon) / Riidaa (leader)
July 1st, Leo
Energetic, Easygoing, Witty / Clumsy, Arrogant, Short Attention Span (lol).
She's the shortest of the girls. She highly admires her father, who was an idol. She's also the youngest. She's kind just like her mother, but she's ruthless like her pops. She lives in her eldest sister's shadow and she wants to shine. Hikari-chan wants to be a rockstar.
Her hair was fun to make, but believe or not, those shoes were HELL. Major cool points if you know where the name Tsukino came from. =)

Tetsuno Misaki (Beautiful Bloom of Iron) / Saki-chan
March 15th, Pisces
Romantic, Peace-loving, Confident /Secretive, .
She likes flirting with girls and even though her mother owns a bakery, Saki-chan can't cook. She loves to take on a challenge and loves freedom. She's a character in the works, so there isn't much info about her yet.
I HATE her hair. >=| She will be made over, but my brain is complete mush. She's my favorite... They are all my favorites, but she's my favorite-favorite! She can NOT look like this!

Ha Kaede (Maple Leaf)
November 20th, Scorpio
Passionate, Loyal, Determined / Short-tempered, Unforgiving, Jealous.
She has been weak since she's been a child, but she must prove to everyone that she's strong just like her mother. She has the toughest time trusting someone. I think she's the most devoloped character... she's special to me.
I looove her hair. <3. Her outfit's the only outfit that I drew on paper to ever be pixelized! Everyone else had variations or changed completely. I looove that dress. = D


- rawr (yeah, my eyes hurt. lol)

.truthfully?

"So, I like my life sunny side up, ya digg?"

So, a lot of people believe that I am stupid, some type of retarded even. Why? I make them think so. It's a tactic basically. While they are not paying me any mind, I out doing these big moves. When they think they are superior, they turn around and look at the 'idiot'. They are stumped when the 'idiot' has advanced farther than them. Most of the things I say is never exactly what I think. You should catch me when I'm drunk, really. lol. That's when the 100% truth flies out. There's only ONE person I've ever been completely honest and open to, but right now I don't think we are what you call friends anymore. Hmph. Oh, well...

On another note, my laptop has decided to hate me again. We have this love/hate relationship, you know. I think we need to end the relationship and I move on to something better? I don't want to part! We've been through the good and the bad. Sigh... Well, I made some pixels and thankfully, I uploaded MOST of them. I lost my original bases for the first two dolls and the completely lost the MANY bases for the smaller ones. =( But, good news is that I remade the bases for the first one! = D !! I'll work on the smaller ones later. I'm a beginner, I guess. And that's a pear, not a random bush. lol.




- rawr

.another late night

kicksmashboomfetish?

Well, I updated my message board. Don't mind the dates... lol. This has been around since 05? 04? Something like that, but I haven't REALLY paid much attention to it. It was first called Starbase and it was an anime/manga/video game type message board, but then I got into graphic making. 2 years later, I changed the name to something flashy; Kick Smash Boom Fetish. What, you say? I don't know either, but it was something going on in my head for a while. lol. I like the name. =) But why am I putting it back up again? IDK. Maybe this time around, it'll get much activity. I always wanted different sorts and types of people in one place so I don't have to keep switching between message boards. lol. I have to smart small, though and be patient. The skin was fun to make. I was using a generator and using photoshop most of the day, trying to make it unique... It's not smexy enough for me. =/ I will be working on it when I have full brain power again. lol. Sooo... I made another Gantz graphic!! =D !

Tribute Time!

- simba says, "Rawr!" (oh yeah... I bluescreened while trying to upload the pic. yay for autosaving!)

Shameless Plugs!
KICKSMASHBOOMFETISH
& if you want to be a co-admin, aim me at zehapplesaucers!

.100 point menu?

GANTZ !

Ok, so I'm a little obsessed with the manga, Gantz. I was hooked when I was watching the anime, but when I read the manga, I was addicted. I'm itching for chapter 299. Literally. It's like crack to me. Oku Hiroya, I bow to you. What's it about you say? Well, to put it all in a nutshell (so far), people near death/or have died teleport to this room where there's only a black ball. This black ball tells them what to do, giving them bodysuits and high-tech weapons. And then they are sent off to kill aliens. It's like a survival game with points and each time it gets more difficult. Now, the anime was a bit too emotional for me. I couldn't finish it after the scene in the Buddha mission when Kuruno blasted a part of his leg to take revenge of Kishimoto and his arm was cut off. I just paused it and frowned. Too many deaths of my favorites at once. I paused it just to find out more of my favorites were going to die! SEI!! BRING HER BAAACK! She was flippin' awesome and that damn thousand-arms thing cheated. >=| But the manga is worse. When Takeshi died, I UGLY CRIED! D= !! I'm trying not to give anything away for those who haven't read it, but yaaaay @ bringing back Katou! Just... just don't kill him again. My poor heart can't take it. & Izumi must come back too. HE WAS BAAAADASS, even though he killed 400+ innocent people dressed as a black guy and killed off Tae, but still! Since Hoi Hoi is dead, I guess this isn't going to happen, right? =(

Tribute time? Why, yes! Yes it is! = D !

Where's chapter 299, Hiroya-sama? I can't take this wait any longers... but anything for quality, right?


- rawr

.deep procrastination

Aye yo, homie! You heard dat? Dem voices? o.O


I shooould be STARTING my 5-6 paged essay on Ruth Bader Ginsburg (i wrote down Gingrich on my syllabus lol) and it should be done before 7! Hmm... I'm going to get started after this blog entry. I was up until 5 in the morning, with a blank Microsft Word document minimized since 11pm. Playing with the litte mini-games I downloaded, playing Sim City 4000 and destroying my cities without saving. It's 3 o'clock right now. I have 4 hours left. . . See, I just googled the lady. She's the second woman ever to sit in the United States Supreme Court. Ha! I'm doing something productive. So, my professor doesn't want when she was born or any other boring stuff. Fill up pages filled with her accomplishments. I was going to blog about young girls and older men and vise versa and so forth, but gotta get this done... *lingers & ponders* Hmm... Ok. Ok. I'm getting off.

*clicks publish post & googles some more*

- rawr, bby

.love letter

Top of the Mornin' To Yuur.

Dear Myself,

Never gave it much thought until the moment worth caught

Worthr Moment Caught

ught

ht

Caught in oblivious neglect of the now conscious sweet threat

Threat that wraps the mind into an unfamiliar bind

Bind was once a tight rope that left nothing but misled hope

Hope seen while blind as if there were such a kind

Kind of fatal temptation to a morbid sensation

Sensation now a warm, bright light compared to previous fights

Fights of a battered heart against a confused art

Art of tempting beauty left a cut which gave everything but

But this bind that is fresh feels natural within the flesh

Flesh belonged to the once beast who does not want to be released

Released from this notion of what most call devotion

Devotion of this beautiful seed with plenty of flawed features

Features in and out, this stunning bud began to sprout

Sprout pride and unique grace as this blossom shines beyond the face

Face the generation, myself, as you are an inspiration.

Love, Myself.

* this was written for my little brother who's my inspiration. Graphic also by me. . . love it. I really need to write down resources and stuff. I'm going to search for the stocks on deviantart once I get home from class. Now, I showed this poem to my mom and my sister, both who don't have a creative bone in their body. Both said it was 'good' and kept it moving. Where in the world did I get my creativeness from? lol. Well, my sister wanted me to send it to her and I guess it's to show off to her friends how 'genius' her little sister is. I'm not complaining. = )

In other news, guess who's a producer of a dance team! I is!! lol. I'm quite honored and surprised, really. I know nothing about dancing like that, but I'm all up for it. Yay ! The dance crew is called Ghost C.R.E.W.E. and my best friend's fiancee, who's one of the dancers, asked me to be apart of them and be PRODUCER! . . . now question is: How do you produce for a dance crew? (googles)

- rawr, love yourself & dance for your life

.creation

By Hand. & My Heart Stills Beats In The Hands of Another.

I just made this a few minutes ago. It took me a few hours in Photoshop CS4. I should have timed it and scribbled down credits =/. . . You know, I've never been really hardcore religious, but I do think there is something out there. Something bigger than us. I think that something just has to be a woman. What DOES a rabbit & hiding flamboyant-painted eggs have to do with Jesus?

Hmm, I've been pretty up-beat for a few days. I think it has to do with this guy (yeah, i know) that's I've known for some time now. He's taken, so that's hands-off for me, but it' just something about him. I know I said that about the other dude, but the thing is I feel something just different about the other one.

Funny story with this dude. I never paid much attention nor mind to him when we first met. Just adorable I found him, but a tad bit annoying. Now, when my very close friend wanted dibs on him, I have gotten very protective. It was like I was protecting my property. I could not tell her why I didn't want her dating him, but I figured it out after a few minutes. . . I liked him. Blah! He wasn't someone I would actually go about dating since I can't STAND a man who can't form sentences. A few days later, saw him with a random female. You know how when you fall for someone, you can tell when they are in love with someone else? I've experienced that and I panicked. So I told him how I felt via Myspace (never again), but he only saw me as a friend. I was okay with that until it just began to eat me up on the inside. I tried avoiding him, but he ended up physically whereever I just pushed him out mentally. "Nothing would change," he said. Maaan, was he wrong. The closer we got, the more my emotions got the best of me. Here I am, pining over two dudes I can never have. . . YET! = ) I still have my hopes. We'll see, right?

- rawr, Happy Early Easter.

.broken

The heart's shatter was so intense where the body was numb to all pain.

So, it's broken. I should have known. I should have known better. I just felt as though as I was led on, but he did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. I should have never fallen for anyone where they never believed that you liked them. So, no more posts about him, but my mind would take a while to erase him. Probably never happen. He was the best that's ever happened to me and it was never physical. Just mental and emotional. I should have realized it when he began to distance. Now I'm by myself. . . again. Not in a writing mood anymore. =/

- rawr

.when a door shuts in your face,

KICK THAT B*TCH DOWN!

I'm seriously tired of waiting for that door that opens when one is shut. I'm taking my life in my OWN hands. I'm tired of letting my mother control me. Either she wants me to grow up or stay that frightened child. I'm choosing right in between, without the frightened part of course. I will forever be a kid inside, no matter what. Right now, I looking for a job. I need to get out of this place. I will NOT allow anyone make anymore decisions for me. I'm going back to Del State and live out my dreams. I will become a band director, where I can be around kids who were just like me while growing up. I can teach them that music can be their happiness when they feel there is nothing else out there for them. I will do whatever in my power to make them feel like they matter and that they have purpose.

- rawr, simba's back.

.and then i asked,

"Why are these females so DUMB?"

As most would know, I'm nosy. There's no way around it. I'm the most quietest person until you get to know me. You see, being quiet is mostly a tactic. I'm really listening in on your conversation, locking it into my brain. I learn a lot that way. So, anyways, I'm sitting in a hallway, sitting on this bench with my laptop, waiting for the Sims 2 to load (I'm a HUUUUGE fan). Suddenly, I hear this soft, kinda childish voice. It was another girl who was on the other end of the hallway on her cellphone. She was talking to her boyfriend, but what got me was the fact that she was telling her boyfriend not to talk to her in a certain way. Why in the world are you STILL talking to the dude if he's being disrespectful? Hang UP! She's busy crying up a storm, telling him to stop and that he was a creep. HANG UP! She's like, "I'm not stupid. Don't talk to me that way. You're a horrible boyfriend." I almost got up to take the phone from her and would of hung it up myself. Why do females stay in relationships like that? = ( It hurts my heart yet it makes me angry at both parties. Whoever that dude was, he was lucky I don't know him. I would have slapped him myself for being an asshole to someone who cares about him. I HATE MEN! >=| !

- rawr

.a little deeper

But No Where Near The Core

So, I've been a little down lately. That's under exaggerating, but eh. Someone once told me, "Anything worth having never comes easy." Yeah, I know. Toughest thing I'm learning... School has always been an issue to me. I know I'm smart. I know I can do it... I just get discouraged, is all. Where is it coming from? At home, really (another post, another day). Every little thing bugs me, but I just hide it. I don't show it. But, it's true when you just hide everything in you, it builds up and disaster explodes. I have my moments where I'm over the top, happy-go-lucky, but I'm hurting. When I see a happy couple or the bestest of best friends, I just want to throw rocks at them. Maybe that's my problem? I just need someone close to me. Just someone to talk to. I don't really have anyone like that anymore... I know some are trying, but I'm just not comfortable and when I am ready to talk about, they've given up on me already. Only person I really want to talk to I'm afraid of approaching. . . Well, everything will be just be wonderful in the end right? Work hard. Chin up. No worries... wish it was that easy to just snap out of this.

- rawr

.school daze

I said DO NOT GRAPH!

Well, today (or yesterday, lol) was my first day back from spring break. I had my Intro. Algebra class and, surprise surprise, we had a test. Honestly, I was going to turn back around when I saw everyone quiet, faces to the desk. I was five minutes late, due to the bus, and when I'm late, I get the feeling that maybe I shouldn't be here today. SOMETHING told me to stay. Jesus? God? Buddah? lol. The moment I looked at this test, I thought I was going to cry. What in the world was this mess? I sat there, flipping through the 5 paged test for more than a half hour. Suddenly, when I ACTUALLY read the stuff, I almost stabbed myself. I KNEW THIS STUFF. My brain was fried for nearly an hour. lol. As I rushed through the thing, my classmates asked the SAME darn question to the professor when it said clearly NOT TO GRAPH on the blackboard. LOL. Anyways, I hope I did well. Need to pass all these darn classes so I can get back to Del State. HORNETS!!

- rawr

PS. I need a JOB and my LISECENE! I need to get out of this mad house.

.dreaming

Gimme Your Lovin'! (pt 2)

I always find myself just thinking about him; dreaming of him. Anything that I do would just remind myself of him. I think about what could have been if I just let it happen. I honestly think another opportunity would never come up. One time deal which I never took. =/ Sucks because I'm forming these feelings that I don't know what to do with. I want to say something, but I don't want to risk our friendship. He's one of the most important things to me. . . I don't ever let him know that. Even if he did know, he would never believe me. WARNING! Contradiction ahead! lol. Even though I don't want to risk our friendship, I'm trying to distance myself from him and try to hurt his feelings. I want him to HATE me because I know he'll never ever feel the same I feel for him. . . gah, this beautiful man has my head spinning. He's changing though. . . I still see the same him through the new exterior, but I don't know what it is. It's like he's hiding something. He's scared of something. I just want to spill my soul to him, but I'm just scared. And this other dude... which is another post, another day. = )

- rawr

.sinnin' in church

HALLELUJAH !

Soo... I was bamboozled into going to church tonight. They told me I was going skating. Mad as all cheese when I find out it was a service. So, there was a guest speaker... FINE AS EVEEEER!! And the dude KNEW exactly what he talking about when it comes to the youth. At the end, his LIVE BAND (A FREAKIN' BAND; I LOOOOVE THOSE) came on stage and I could have sworn he was gonna sing... but he began rapping. When people rap, I barely pay attention, but I was hanging on his every word. Dude had me believing again. Then at the end of it all, he began talking about his wife... =/ lol. Sigh... that's EXACTLY what I want when it comes to a man (except for the married part though) lol. I'll put up links to his stuff when I figure out the site.

- rawr, amen

.this dude?

Gimme Your Lovin'! (pt 1)

I remember one day I was asked what type of dude I liked... I couldn't really answer the person because of the fact that I had no clue what I liked off the top of my head. He began to list all qualities that most females wanted and every single thing he mentioned didn't matter to me; job, car, swag, house, etc. Only thing the dude really needed to do to catch my attention is to just be him and not care what anyone had to say. He just has to be different. He could be the poorest man on the street and I would be poor with him as long as I had his love, I'm the richest woman on this Earth. He could be the deepest shade of brown or the color of a blank piece of paper. Tall or short. Skinny or fat. It's a huge plus if he's into music; especially jazz. One thing I CAN'T stand is a thug/wannabe thug. =/ That CHARACTER is just so UGLY to me. As long as he can just take me to this far away place where only him and I matter... just mentally. Sigh... think I met him, but I don't know what in the hell to do capture him. lol. Also another post, another day. = )

- rawr

'ello !!

I IS NINJA!! I KEEL YOU!

Well, this is my first post. Might as well introduce myself, right? Ok. I have plenty of names, but I mostly go by Simba. Reference to the Lion King? Maybe. It's just a nickname I went by since my freshmen year in high school while I was in the school's band. It was given to me by a senior in band who could never remember my real name. lol. (miss you, Bus) I also go by Koijima, but that's only on fanfiction.net. I'm a very creative person when the feeling is right. By what I wrote so far, you've learned that I was in band and I'm on FF.net. = ) In band, I played the baritone horn during marching band season and played the euphonium during concert band season. It's been two years (i think lol) since I've graduated from high school and I've picked up on trumpet and a little piano/keyboard. Music ♫ is my first and only love. In Spring of 08, I went to Delaware State University as a music education major, but things weren't going so well with me mentally/emotionally so I'm home now. I'm going to a community college now, trying to pick my grades up. I'm anticipating on going back to Del State in the summer for BAND CAMP! = D ! Wish me luck. I'm trying to up my trumpet playing skills so I can show off when I get back. lol. Umm... what else? I'm a Jazz music junkie. John Coltrane, Billie Holiday, Miles Davis, Charlie Parker, Dinah Washington, Louis Armstrong... my god. The most beautiful music I've ever heard! I LOOOVE Anime, Manga, Video Games... AH! I really don't know what else to say about myself.. er... I'm very open to opinions and views so I might contradict myself alot. I try not to be religious... that's another post for another day. I'm a loving person even to the people I don't like. I also tend to have a big mouth, but that's also another post and another day. lol. So, I might put something else up later on... depends on how I feel. = )

- rawr