.dreaming

Gimme Your Lovin'! (pt 2)

I always find myself just thinking about him; dreaming of him. Anything that I do would just remind myself of him. I think about what could have been if I just let it happen. I honestly think another opportunity would never come up. One time deal which I never took. =/ Sucks because I'm forming these feelings that I don't know what to do with. I want to say something, but I don't want to risk our friendship. He's one of the most important things to me. . . I don't ever let him know that. Even if he did know, he would never believe me. WARNING! Contradiction ahead! lol. Even though I don't want to risk our friendship, I'm trying to distance myself from him and try to hurt his feelings. I want him to HATE me because I know he'll never ever feel the same I feel for him. . . gah, this beautiful man has my head spinning. He's changing though. . . I still see the same him through the new exterior, but I don't know what it is. It's like he's hiding something. He's scared of something. I just want to spill my soul to him, but I'm just scared. And this other dude... which is another post, another day. = )

- rawr